I read this a day or so ago and I'm sorry I haven't responded before now, but life has been seriously crazy at work and at home.
Your question about if you are ready to date and your honest answer of I don't know is what prompted me to respond. I would lean toward the cautious side and say if you honestly don't know if you are ready then you are really NOT ready. I may be wrong in that, but I would think if you were truly ready, you would know. You KNOW comparing yourself and your life to others is not good for you, so I caution you to not do that. Look at your own life. Divorce [censored], being single [censored], but you have been single and been a great mom to a wonderful teenager and you are a total rock star.
I like that you can recognize that you have dark thoughts, but that you also realize your worth. I think that is a healthy balance and a much-needed perspective when you start seeking out a partner. Just don't settle. You are way too rock star to settle for a one hit wonder.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
