Buckle your seatbelt, it’s a marathon and you have to be patient and surrender to the fact that this relationship is NOT something you can control right now.
That's an uncomfortable feeling, but the sooner you own that fact, the better you'll do.
Oh boy do I ever realize I am not in control. The only control I exercised was in filing, and only after Stbxw went to South Beach with Om and left D at home by herself. I actually thought if LH saw this, he would say I’m in an open marriage, and that was a humiliating thought. And Stbxw was pi**ed because it blew up the narrative that We were going to stroll to the courthouse with her lawyer holding hands while I cave to whatever settlement demands she had.
I didn’t hire a lawyer to make her mad, that was just an unintended side benefit. My lawyer wanted to serve her at work, but I said no, just call her L. Who eventually told stbxw I had filed. Stbxw was also pi**ed that I didn’t tell her I said I didn’t want to get into an argument, she said I could have texted her.
And actually, my L has jumpstarted the case to get it done quick, which is what stbxw wants.
And LH, thanks for some of the best advice I received, that I’m not co parenting, I’m parenting.
