Im so sorry Michka. Me and H dont live togethers, he lives with AP.
There is only so much you can do in terms of shielding them. My stance with all of this has always been, be honest and allow them to talk, ask questions and let their emotions out. I cant tell you how difficult this year has been emotionally. Its heartbreaking holding your sobbing children every night and listening to them say that their lives have been ruined.
When you read here-be their rock, thats exactly what you need to be, many time i sobbed with them.sometimes after they went to bed. My relationship with the boys is stronger than ever, i have certainly been the rock for them.
There is a reason why everyone says put the focus on you and the kids. If you dont look after yourself the kids will suffer more.
I remember being hung up on 180 and doing it so that H notices. Believe me after a while you wont care whether he notices, you will fond a new groove in life, he wont be part of it. Any changes you make will be for you and the kids. He will eventually either want to be part of it or not. But its a long journey, this could take years. Its only now that we are coming up to a year our coparenting relationship has got so much better. Noone knows what will happen later, but the universe has a plan, so hang in there and look after yourself.
