Best friend for 27 years in MLC part 3

[MrBrside]

Nick,

I get where you are coming from with all the bugging etc. I did a similar thing initally, as i wanted that "proof". My proof was for a different reason - not for myself, but for the future if i ever need it with our children ( my ex has narsastic traits and will never ever admit wrong doing and never has - its always somebody elses fault ) and the ex lies to them / paints me as the bad guy.

Your children arent really children any more - they are adults, hence i dont really see the benefit in going this route.

The best thing you can do now is move on and really make a great life for yourself. Do the things you want to do, spend quality time with your children, be a great grandfather when your children have children etc.

none of these things need a WW.. and you can invest your time and energy into you.

And I may disagree with Steve, that if it wasn’t this Om it would have been another. This guy is a manipulator and has had a huge hold on her in the past, so it’s like she never got over him even though they were apart physically for years. They have a godson together, his nephew.

Sorry Nick, it doesnt work that way. LH once posted a great summary about now resentment impacts on a WWs feelings.

There are plenty of guys out there who will chat up any women - especially married ones. In my mid twenties i started to hang out with an old school friend again, after about 9 years of not speaking / drifting apart. He was a bit of a "wild" one at school and my mum disliked him because he never thought about the consequences of his actions. His mentality didnt change as he got older. On nights out, his focus was married or engaged women. If they had a ring on a finger, they were his target..

His reasoning was:
Chances are if married / engaged sex is dull / rountied and they are "up for it"
He is the only guy chatting them up! - Most "decent"guys wouldnt do this, so its just him seeking their attention.
Chances are, its a one night thing, so he doesnt have to worry about them wanting a relationship or wanting to "settle down"
Even if they want more than one night, he can still play his games with others, as they are taken anyway, so sex / meeting up was on his terms.

The scary thing is, he was very very succesful at picking up married women for 1 night stands !

The scarier thing was, for the women who wanted sex more than once, they were prepared to pay for hotels etc just to meet him ! ( he still lived with his parents )

Needles to say, we didnt hang out for long as he was still a bit of a unpredictable, but my point being, there are lot of married women who will cheat, if you catch them at the right time.

The journal also shows you what kind of person she actually is. She has deep rooted issues from her past.

This journal is your red flag - it shows you what kind of person she actually is.. It just took a few years for all this to bubble up.

Just sort the divorce and get her out of your hair. This will make detachment so much easier and you can move on and enjoy the rest of your life. You need to let go of the anger and resentment towards her.

You want to punish WW - the best punishment is to live an amazing life without them !