Not sure if its you or me misunderstanding here but I told her that I CAN'T talk as if nothing happened.
Maybe it's me, but let me point something out about how you told her. Saying "I can't" is too soft. You can't appear weak or vulnerable to a wayward W. You have made a decision that you WON'T talk as if nothing happened. See the difference? Maybe your feelings cause you think you can't, but don't say it to a WW. Everything must be seen as you being a strong male who is making decisions based on his belief system and core values. When you tell her you "can't", it shows her a little boy who lets his emotions dictate his actions. Very weak in the eyes of a WW!
LH said something about a language barrier. Is English not your first language?
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I do stay business only, though showing feelings around the kids of course. Ex "It's so great to see D6 play with ...."
Good to stay business-like. Oh, wait............what? What do you mean showing feelings around the kids?
I agree with LH that you can't use NGS as an excuse. It helps to understand it, but it's not a "get out of jail card". NGS is a problem, but you can change a lot of it, if you really want to change. I've seen it happen first hand, with my H. I'm concerned if you truly want to stop some of your nice guy ways with your WW. (Some guys are quite proud to tell us they are a nice guy.......apparently, not fully understanding what it means.)
I really want you to grow through this experience and not suffer in the next relationship, due to NGS. BTW, I'm not suggesting you haven't been working on yourself. When I read the posts you write on other threads, I get the feeling you are working. So, keep it up, and don't get discouraged if we point something out.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
