I know, b/c that comes from the root of NGS. You have read the book on NGS, right?
You need to understand why you feel you must always be nice, even to those who have cheated, lied, betrayed, and whatever. Your answer that it's just you is the typical answer I get from those nice guys when I point specifics out to them. I believe them 100%, b/c it is ingrained that much.
I have read it and it was a 2x4 for sure. I'm also working on my codependency as well which is another reason I struggle to just move on after all the betrayals and lies.
Originally Posted by sandi2
I may be wrong, but I think whenever your WW is being civil in conversation, or when she's even being what you would think as "pleasant", you automatically respond with too many words, and can get somewhat gushy. It's as if you temporarily forget what she is, or else your NGS tells you she's being nice at the moment so you must respond accordingly. However, in most cases I've read, it is the WW keeping the LBH emotionally engaged so he won't treat her like she really deserves. And, as I said last time, it's just how the WW works in manipulating him. It's like she keeps him ready to be used whenever she decides to play that card.
I think you nailed it. She's good at showing up enough to give me hope to keep me hanging around. I don't know if she does it consciously or not, or if it matters, but it is obvious she has me on the end of her string. I think actually knowing that makes a difference in seeing things differently. I can see now when she's pulling on that string and I can see the game playing out. I'm still working on playing it better though, because she's still winning.
