Another LBH (not kinda) pt. 5

[SteveLW]

To add to what sandi is saying, having NGS really isn't all that nice! In fact, most "Nice Guys" are really jerks underneath.

I read No More Mr. Nice Guy. And while I wasn't full blown NGS, I certainly suffered from it to an extent. Two things that were eye-opening to me:

- Nice guys often proclaim to themselves that they are nice guys

This usually comes in the form of "deserving" something in return. For instance, a big one in NGS is thinking he deserves sex for being nice.

- Passive-aggressive tendencies

Nice guys like to exhibit a nice exterior but underneath are really being passive-aggressive in the things they say or do. Passive-aggressiveness is a big NGS red-flag.

The last one is the covert contrat. "If I am nice then X will give me Y." Again often in the context of sex. But notice, Nice Guys do not do something because it is nice. They are nice because they think then they will get what they want.

Anyway, the book is a great read. Many here have read it multiple times. It can't hurt to give it a look.