Nick, you are unraveling at the seams and fast. As others have pointed out, let go of the snooping and start working on yourself. Focus on STBX in stunning growth in yourself and your petty vindictivness if utterly counterproductive.
Now you know for a fact that she is cheating on you, the best thing for you is to stop all sorts of snooping, eavesdropping, GPS tracking and whatsnots... Not only is nooping not good for you, it is highly detrimental to your mind. WTF does is matter what she is saying to OM about you. Her comments are just painting a picture about her, it has nothing to do with you. Again, what she is saying about you is none of your business.
You are just tormenting yourself, you might as well be showing needles under your fingernails.
Stop snooping, remove all snooping devices, scramble all passwords that enable you access to snooping data and start living your life. Focus on yourself, focus on the kids. WTF would you take your family to a resort where you know for a fact your W had sex with OM?!? Would you lay in bed wondering if you are in the same room your wife was?
Come on dude, you are better than this. Treat your W like you would a neighbour, curteous but standoffish. Stop answering her calls, limit interactions and discuss only your kinds and finances.
You are hurting, you are like a wounded animal. And it is YOU that is hurting yourself, your W is not hurting you. You can only control yourself so quit trying to control your W, OM, OM's wife and everything else.
Wake the f up, slap yourself, dust yourself off, stop snooping and get on with your life (finally).
