Trying to heal from WW - part 2

[Ace_32]

Thanks for the responses guys. LH i know that most here can relate and have been through this pain, thats why i feel drawn to constantly come back and read other sitches. Dont know where there is a line of spending too much time here. Do believe that i didnt realise i wasnt free or how toxic everything was and i needed to be removed from the situation even if it wasnt my choice.

SaltyDog, agreed its one thing to realise that you are doing it and the damage its causing to your life and another thing to actually start fixing your thinking. It is a bit liberating to know that the worst is happening and getting the confirmation that you arent crazy. Still dont understand why my W gaslights me about it.

Saw a pic of her and OM on the beach recently on social media (yes i know i shouldnt snoop, still trying to stop that) and asked her ehy she wont just admit it to me. She basically said its none of my business what is going on in her life and she is not my property but anyway i guess she is right, except that she is still my wife but whatever. She said she only wants to talk about the divorce from now on, i got a bit angry and messaged saying that i know she isnt my property but we made a commitment to each other that was supposed to be for life. I also said that im grateful we never had kids because of how much more devastating this would have been. She then blocked me, i actually laughed when i saw that she had.

Steve, its good to admit you aren't detached. I also had to admit that to myself again recently. If she had a proper heartfelt conversation with me saying she wants to make this work i would probably also still fall for it. I read about your sitch where the planned the nice evening for your W and she kept changing the plans and it fell through. That must have been really tough getting your hopes up to just get disappointed again, i probably would have tried as well if it was me. Agree with you that the door is closed and i there is nothing i can do. If she truly wants to reconcile one day i will know because she will be clear about it and will have to decide where i stand if that ever happens.