There are different opinions about what the masculine side of a relationship looks like in the modern world. You don't always have to lead. However, if your wife is saying "when I'm with my friends and they complain about their husbands, I always say my only complaint is I don't have one!" you've probably gone off the deep end on passivity. Living to please someone, lacking independent agency, is convenient but unattractive.
Off the deep end is a good way to put it. And I'd also throw in a healthy dose of depression on top of that passivity which is twice as unattractive. I can see it all now, hindsight and all that, and at least now I can sense my depression, realize what it is, and get out in front of it. Today though, I am feeling great. Almost worryingly great because I have not felt this good in a while and I don't really know why. But gonna go with it! Sun is out, warmest day of the year so far, and it is the weekend!
Originally Posted by CWarrior
I met a woman who realized she'd learned from her mom to rule the household, and was trying to let that go, to have a better post-retirement relationship with her husband. These behaviors can be generational, picked up from years of watching her parents of your parents, picked up from your kids seeing you two.
Way back before we got married, the one red flag/worry I had was her mom. People always say women turn into their mothers and her mom is a batsh!t crazy, neurotic, overbearing, guilt-trip machine! Guess I should've listened.
