Reconciliation Rollercoaster (part 5)

[Pommy99]

LH...thanks for stopping by! You raise so many valid points that are difficult for me to process. (Probably another reason of many that I didn't post after BD in November...I felt like everyone else here saw this coming, saw his lack of commitment (I did too), I knew all the mistakes I'd made in accepting him back too quickly last year etc etc - I didn't want them all pointed out again lol!)

Anyways...

So the question becomes is he sitting tight going through the motions until OW2 comes around? I guess that is what you need to decide.

Yep, I wonder this all the time. Maybe not so much OW2 right now - he is fully experiencing the fallout of an A and the destruction it has caused - not just to me but how it has impacted him as well. I don't think he would go down that route again. I think he would choose to spend time alone before embarking on another R. Easy to say, I guess. The cynical and untrusting side of me could feel he is biding his time until we get out of lockdown, after which he can live alone and live his life without being trapped like he was when we S last year, that he is waiting for better job security before making a move. But I would only be mind-reading if I let those thoughts take hold

Of course I want him to be crazy about me - realistically, 20 years of marriage, it's unlikely, but we should at least be fulfilled in so many different ways. I think his reasons for staying are valid - family, my GD companionship (he finds it hard to imagine a life without me), and I do think the whole idea of starting over, splitting assets etc is not something he takes lightly - that's also a valid reason IMO. BUT - all of this needs to ultimately be underpinned with love, belonging, being content and fulfilled with/by each other. That is what we are working on, that is the bit he says we are working on.

Good luck PM99 I really like and respect you.

Thank you