Worst thing that could've happened to me was her taking me back 3-4 months ago because I would've slipped right back under her thumb.
Yo SD I had to bring this over from a thread you posted on.
"Take you back" that's how you see it? It's her choice to take you back? If that is how you see it then I am afraid your situation will never change.
Explain to me how you are not under her thumb right now.
I was referring to back then it would've been "taking me back" because that's all I was hoping for. Now I feel like I have more say in the situation because I am not looking for her to take me back and that I have some say in what I want, what my boundaries are, and that I have more serious doubts about even wanting to reconcile.
Does that mean I am not under her thumb? Hell no! But to put it in jiu-jitsu terms - she had me in full mount and I managed to get back to half-guard. Now I just need to pull off the sweep. As for how things are different of late - I've gone back to detaching. The only contact we've had since Saturday has been logistical and during those exchanges I haven't responded with anything more than the bare minimum. I'm going to hold strong on staying at the house and in my bed. That's not negotiable. I've got my first personal trainer session on Monday and will be going 2x a week. I have my life coach sessions scheduled and paid for. I'm the type of person who needs to be held accountable, so actually signing up, spending money, and putting things on the calendar makes sure I don't make excuses.
I'm not out of the woods by a long stretch. Things just FEEL different this go around. More anger, more motivation, less victim, less dwelling on things. More nervous excitement and less full-blown 24/7 anxiety.
