I glanced at some of your sitch and you have had it harder than I do. How hard it is when you sharing a space with someone you love but they act so detached. Isn't it? I find that I hate it when my H is at home, but I also hate it when he is away. Truth is, I still miss the H I fell in love with even thought I know he's been gone for a few years now (that's how far back things started to get bad).
I'm sorry to hear that you too are already a long time in this situation as well. I fully understand these feelings and they are very normal to feel that way. I too was glad when he came home, but when I look back to it now I preferred the times when he was not since it is much easier to stay detached if they are not around all the time.
Originally Posted by Elbereth
Update. Had a convo with my L today. Still hoping to get the agreement signed and then we will start the D process on paper next week. I do hope it stays civil and doesn't get dragged out or super expensive, but I feel I have no choice but to use a L now that H has been taking funds and hiding things from me.
Feeling a bit lighter the last day or so. I think just making the decision to D helps. Even though it's not what I really wanted...I do not want to live like this any longer than I have to. If I am really going to move forward, I want my own place and my own financial freedom to do what I want.
If you read my stitch I'm also in the proces of the D, on my initiative now since that is what he wanted but did not do anything for it. I strongly believe, as far as the stories I have read and the advice given, that it is better to arrange the D ASAP, even if you still want to stand. (is only arranging financial security in my opinion) I have no L and working on an divorce with mutual consent and for the moment this is working. Let's hope... You are doing well Elbereth, definitely so soon after BD!
Originally Posted by Elbereth
I really wish I could just put everything in storage and go travel for a year. H hated traveling, and I have wanted to do it more. So embracing that would bring me joy as well as distract me from the awful last few years. I would feel empowered and excited to travel. And hell, I'm not getting younger.
Will do this as well. Once the divorce is final I will buy a nice house and keep enough money to travel with the kids. Much more important in live to make good memories with the children.
