Wow HaWho, just nuts. I can't share anything about my situation for now, but I can say that I can relate with what you have dealt with. The lengths these folks go to in order to justify their choices, actions and behaviors and to vilify the LBS in the process is just extraordinary.
I'm sorry for all the difficulty you have experienced, but it sounds as though you have handled it with your usual aplomb. I hope things are continuing to go well with the kids, your fellow, and that Covid is a one-time through kind of thing.
Oh wow, HaWho. What a time you have had. I’m so glad to hear that you and your son were able to recover from Your illnesses. Both are super scary to deal with it and I’m sure it was stressful. I’m also so sorry to hear about the dog.
Yup, your ex is in crazy town. Just nuts... and how exhausting it must be. I empathize. I have no words of wisdom except continue as you have been. You’ve been extraordinary through all these years of chaos.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
wow! what a crazy few months!! I'm happy for you that you and your son are okay.
I enjoyed these two paragraphs -
Originally Posted by HaWho
It was sort of strange to be with him when we put my dog down; like being with a stranger. I was there for the dog. I felt no need to comfort him or to have him comfort me. That ship has long sailed and I have no interest in who he is today.
After my dog passed I said goodbye to the front desk gal and nothing to him. It should be strange given we vowed ourselves to each other. But it is not any longer. It's stranger to think of him as anything more than a stranger.
Strange indeed how relationships evolve. It is nice to have this strange man become nothing more than a stranger to you.
So sorry to hear about your health struggles and your puir pooch. You did the right thing by easing his journey over the Rainbow Bridge.
You sound strong and comfortable in your own skin. A good place to be.
((HaWho))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I am glad that you returned to post an update. You and your family have had a very difficult time the last 6 months or so. I'm glad you've recovered from Covid. I'm also glad that you were able to stay w/your son while he stayed in the hospital. So glad that all of you are now well.
However, I am very sorry about your dog. I remember how you use to talk about your dog and what a wonderful fur baby he was. He's now crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and will be there waiting for all of you when the time comes. It was the humane thing to do to put him to sleep. He would have suffered a lot in the last two weeks of his life.
As for your xh...he's still out there and I am afraid he has joined the ranks w/my xh...in Never, Never Land.
I think of you and your sons often and pray that 2021 will be a better one for all. May we all find some peace and stay safe and healthy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, most noteworthy is I sleep again! After the years with live-in ex running around in MLC and then the stress of the divorce, I had many, many years of being up 1/2 the night. Within the last month this has changed and I’m having a love affair with sleep.
My kids are doing well as am I. My older son is starting to get some acceptances to college so pressure is lifting. He has decent options. We miss our dog so much. I still come into rooms looking for him in his usual spots. It’s still so painful not to have him here.
I started a “new, old job” a few months ago. In December I was updating my profile on LinkedIn when up popped a job from my old company from the east coast, but the job was here in SoCal. I searched and could not find they had an office here. The next day I googled and saw there was an old coworker still there on the east coast so I called to inquire. They were acquired and hiring in SoCal. I said I was interested. He told me he was now head of my old department on the east coast and he would like to hire me back into the group! So now, after 20 years I am back. I work 100% remote and am back to earning what I made before I mommy tracked.
I have not heard from ex in a few months (probably the reason I sleep again). He sent me an odd text when the variant strain of Covid was surfacing. In it, he said was sending this message as a friend. And he said he thought the message would help me. Then he proceeded to tell me of some ways to prevent getting the variant strain of Covid. It was long winded, like an email instead of a text.
At first I was surprised as it seemed thoughtful and kind. I mentioned it to my sister and she immediately said, he’s just worried you will catch it and pass it to the kids causing him to get it. We both died laughing. It actually makes sense. He would be one to care most about himself above even his own kids.
I was going to write something quick back but then I forgot to do so. There’s a sure sign of healing: he is an afterthought, if that. And when I remembered I had not answered, I considered writing a response then but decided I actually did not want to do so. I have zero interest in a friendship with him. I am happy with zero contact. The peace and quiet is lovely. And he is no friend to me. He’s a stranger I don’t know. I did joke that going forward if he offers me continued advice via text, I would like to respond with one word: -UNSUBSCRIBE-
All in all, life is good. I am still seeing the same guy. He is very kind and does not like confrontation. He gets along well with people. He is positive and easy going. He had his own very tough divorce so he too just wants peace and quiet.
Hope you are all healing and practicing lots of self care. It does get better.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
So now, after 20 years I am back. I work 100% remote and am back to earning what I made before I mommy tracked.
That's SO great!!! Congratulations!
Also, I think your sister was right on the money about your ex's motivation - he doesn't want to catch Covid from the kids. (Not that I blame him, but with his OCD and germophobia this pandemic must be driving him even crazier than he was!)
