Well, most noteworthy is I sleep again! After the years with live-in ex running around in MLC and then the stress of the divorce, I had many, many years of being up 1/2 the night. Within the last month this has changed and I’m having a love affair with sleep.
My kids are doing well as am I. My older son is starting to get some acceptances to college so pressure is lifting. He has decent options. We miss our dog so much. I still come into rooms looking for him in his usual spots. It’s still so painful not to have him here.
I started a “new, old job” a few months ago. In December I was updating my profile on LinkedIn when up popped a job from my old company from the east coast, but the job was here in SoCal. I searched and could not find they had an office here. The next day I googled and saw there was an old coworker still there on the east coast so I called to inquire. They were acquired and hiring in SoCal. I said I was interested. He told me he was now head of my old department on the east coast and he would like to hire me back into the group! So now, after 20 years I am back. I work 100% remote and am back to earning what I made before I mommy tracked.
I have not heard from ex in a few months (probably the reason I sleep again). He sent me an odd text when the variant strain of Covid was surfacing. In it, he said was sending this message as a friend. And he said he thought the message would help me. Then he proceeded to tell me of some ways to prevent getting the variant strain of Covid. It was long winded, like an email instead of a text.
At first I was surprised as it seemed thoughtful and kind. I mentioned it to my sister and she immediately said, he’s just worried you will catch it and pass it to the kids causing him to get it. We both died laughing. It actually makes sense. He would be one to care most about himself above even his own kids.
I was going to write something quick back but then I forgot to do so. There’s a sure sign of healing: he is an afterthought, if that. And when I remembered I had not answered, I considered writing a response then but decided I actually did not want to do so. I have zero interest in a friendship with him. I am happy with zero contact. The peace and quiet is lovely. And he is no friend to me. He’s a stranger I don’t know. I did joke that going forward if he offers me continued advice via text, I would like to respond with one word: -UNSUBSCRIBE-
All in all, life is good. I am still seeing the same guy. He is very kind and does not like confrontation. He gets along well with people. He is positive and easy going. He had his own very tough divorce so he too just wants peace and quiet.
Hope you are all healing and practicing lots of self care. It does get better.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
