And like you say, it wasn't a great life. So why the f should I fight for it? Especially when I'm the only one. To go back to how it was??? F-that. Yes, I was/am sh!t at boundaries which enabled the situation, but that's gonna change.
Because most people prefer the $hitty known to the potentially fantastic unknown. I was like that until I understood my value. I know what I bring to the table. Heck I made the table. It's a game changer. It takes time.
I am/was one of those people. Give me a sh!tty certainty over an unknown potential any day. No more. Even you saying you built the table reminded me of how I used to build stuff. Built my workbench, built cutting boards, built gifts, etc. I haven't built anything for months. Too depressed and too distracted. So I went out and bought myself some new clamps, chisels, hand planes, etc. and am making that a priority again.
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Most of this is your brain trying to protect you and some really bad rom-com Hollywood movies you've watched over the years that is keep you holding on for dear life.
Good way to look at it. And I know right now I am all gung-ho and ready to kick ass, and I know that pendulum will swing back at times, but each time it is swinging this way it is swinging a little further. And each time it swings back to her, it swings a little less. Just gotta keep going forward.
