After years of reading all of these short, sad, WAW stories, there is only one conclusion I arrive at:
Kick their @sses to the curb and leave them there. They want out? Throw them out. Now!
They patronize you by saying you deserve better? Find someone better immediately.
Who needs to wait around for a lying, cheating, betraying, character-assassinating POS WAS?
Now, that's the kind of validating I'm talking about. Go ahead and give them exactly what they say they want. And give it to them IMMEDIATELY! No namby-pamby wimp-@ss "waiting."
After all, they've been so "unhappy" for "so long."
So SD I pulled this post from another thread. I like you came here trying to save my family. I like you was afraid to do anything to push me exw further away. I like you thought that if she could just see my changes I could have the life I used to have put back together. I now realize that wasn't a very great life. This board and MWD tends to make you believe that they are in a temporary fog and will snap out of it. My ex was miserable most of the time and that in-turn made me miserable. Now that I am far away and see life on the other side the post from Kimmie Lee reads loud and clear to me.
Easier said then done but I promise you that this is how you will see things years from now.
While journaling this morning I listed out what things were REALLY like between us. And like you say, it wasn't a great life. So why the f should I fight for it? Especially when I'm the only one. To go back to how it was??? F-that. Yes, I was/am sh!t at boundaries which enabled the situation, but that's gonna change. And not just with her. I have no desire to go back to how it was. I have no desire to keep playing this game anymore. I've done all that has been asked of me, now it is time for me to do everything for myself. I have a clear conscience and no more regrets. And I need to keep it that way without letting those old weak parts of me worming their way back in.
