She didn't have to leave, at least legally in most jurisdictions. You could have asked her to leave. I am not a fan of nesting, as it plays right into the WS' desire to have their cake and eat it too. "Yeay I get to play house for a week, then go be single and party for a week!"
Yup, and I bought into the bullsh!t by thinking she really was looking to work on herself and have time to process and all that crap. Read something lately that resonated with me - "you're both in a canoe and you are paddling in circles with one oar and she's putting on her life jacket."
Originally Posted by SteveLW
IHS is not easy. Not going to lie. I think it is worse if your WS/WAS is in an active PA. I would recommend moving back in and keeping the MBR. Telling her she will need to sleep somewhere else. I did IHS, and tried to stay as busy as I could (GAL), which helped. When I struggled was when I did GAL poorly.
The only "good" thing (not that you can call it that) is that the OM is out of state so I won't have to deal with her going and spending the night at his house or some other crap. At least for now, that is obviously subject to change at any time depending on her next Tinder date.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Good stuff here. I highly encourage you to stop drinking all together. Though I am biased (former alcoholic). But it is just too easy to not be in your right mind and do and say things that will hurt your sitch. DBing sober is difficult enough.
Totally agree. I've basically been a functioning alcoholic for 20 years. Never full-blown, I wouldn't drink in the morning or have withdrawals if I went a day, but up until Dry January I hadn't gone a week without drinking for as long as I could remember. Having 1 drink was never an option. It was all or nothing. But seeing how many positive changes happened in January with not drinking and seeing how I lost a lot of those changes since I started again is a wakeup call. Hard part is that is has become such a part of my identity. Most of my t-shirts are pub/brewery shirts I've collected over the years. My birthday/Xmas presents always include something beer related. So I need to change that identity because like you said, it is hard enough doing this sober, doing it drunk just adds a whole other layer of bad choices, bad thinking, and depression.
