Why has the forum come to a snail's pace?

[AndrewP]

Just my 2 cents as an "old-timer" on the FB group concept and connecting with others IRL.

Now keep in mind that some of have indeed found each other so I like to think that I have some basis for my opinions. While I could go into some details, I won't out of respect for others involved.

Generally speaking, people who come here are in a lot of pain and have a huge "need" in them. This can be overwhelming for anyone who they may happen to connect to who have lives outside of being a therapist / support group. Also people who are in pain tend to cling to each other - not always a good idea for two hurting people to bond over mutual hurts.

There's also an unwritten principle in many 12 step programs that is referred to as the "13th step". It's where someone - usually someone who has been in the program for a while, takes advantage of those who come in who are looking for answers. It's happened here I know, and it's happened elsewhere.

Also - like cavemen sitting around a warm fire, there are lurkers in the shadows. Quite a lot of them. If connections could easily be made between someone's stories here and the actual person there could be some quite serious implications for them. Not just legal but also safety-wise.

I've been fortunate in that (generally) connections I have made have been positive and were made long after I left the rawness of the Newcomer's area. But that is most certainly not the case in all circumstances. And yes - some connections that could be made could be a very positive thing for those involved. But - in my opinion - the risks are just to high.

So - even though I may be called a hypocrite for this, I do support the policy of enforced anonymity we have here.

For those who are looking for more substantive support than what can be provided in an anonymous web forum populated by amateurs, there are easily available professional resources available. The MWD organization for example that funds and supports this site has I know very well, provided a lot of quality support to those in need. And they are a business and we are playing in their yard so we need to abide by their rules. I'm sure if you went into a Dunkin Donuts and loudly asked for directions to the local Tim Horton's Doughnuts that they would not be pleased either.

Again - just my own personal opinion. I'm not associated with the MWD organization in any way and do not speak on their behalf.