Interesting discussion about passive-aggression. My boyfriend CMM is the king of passive aggressive responses, but I've learned that he lacks the insight to discuss them. Since I know his time on earth is limited with stage 4 lung cancer, and have come to grips with his underlying obsessive compulsive personality disorder, I generally simply ignore. I don't take the bait. I have no expectations to change him, and I know my time of dealing with those aspects is limited. (Sounds cold, I guess, but knowing that he probably will only live another year or two at best makes it easier to let go of things that might be a dealbreaker for me in a long-term relationship. And while this makes him sound kinda awful, he has many good qualities too, including that he loves me maybe more than any other man I've been with, and he does everything he can for me. )
So you have few expectations of changing your stbx at this point too, and know you won't really have to deal with this much longer. Maybe simply ignoring or letting go of his passive aggressive behaviors would work for you too?
