I can say I am proudly NC, I think W is seeing OM but I am focused on me and growing from all the suffering I have gone through.
Come on man we know where your focus is Pac.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
Last Sunday, as I was leaving the kids, S2 was crying because he did not want to go and S7 had a very sad gesture. I know this is temporary but I need to write it here because it still amazes me how coldly she behaves and how she has wiped me out of the pic and does not care about the status of our family. I am sorry if I repeat this a lot, it hurts beyond words can explain. I left them and went to see some friends, tears in me eyes as I drove away. I need to grow stronger.
Pac this is all part of the process.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
There is a voice growing in my head telling me I deserve more, better and I cannot tolerate what W is doing now.
Listen to that voice.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
I know I idealized her and our family but it really was something worth fighting for, our children deserved a loving family with a great example of how to love your partner from us.
You can show your children that with another partner.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
I cant get rid of the feeling that I failed, that I pressured her too much and that I made many mistakes along 2020 but at the same time she has given me not the slightest option to turn this around.
Because your W is gone Pack and probably will be for a really long time.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
I think a lot about my boundaries, my NUTS and the deadline I have in May this year.
Soooo..........
Originally Posted by Pack_19
I understand it is part of the journey but it feels as if I lost this war. I keep thinking about the value in all we had built, the things I achieved for my family, all the memories we shared and the incredible experience of having kids and seeing them grow and love you and drive you crazy.
Pack lots of "I's" in that last paragraph.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
Meanwhile she is out there meeting guys and pretending her life has started now. I know this is my mind thinking the wrong way but I cannot help it, my feelings and my values push me to defend the value in all we had.
