#18 - Still working 2 years into Ring & Piecing

[BL42]

SteveLW/LH19,

There was a scene near the end of the movie where Jennifer Aniston invites Vince Vaughn to a concert trying to get back together (after the condo is being sold and they have two week to move out), and he stands her up. The next morning he goes to her room to find her crying, and she has the heart-to-heart with him that she should have had with him instead of the big blow-up that started the whole mess. I thought this was also well done because it showed that by time the one "spouse" is ready to really confront the real issues in the R, it is usually too late and the dynamics of the R are such that the damage has been done, too much toothpaste is out of the tube, and trying to put it all back together again is probably futile at that point.

In that scene, Vince's character, after Jennifer's tells him exactly why she had been unhappy, says "Why didn't you ever say that?" She says: "I did try to say that so many times." And he says: "Yeah, but never like that." But since he just stood her up for the concert she is no longer interested in trying, she is tired of being hurt.

Interesting on the timing / dynamics of who wants to try when. And the ending leaves it ambiguous as to whether or not they reconcile in the future...

Yep. I remember seeing that movie and thinking holy fuch that was my marriage to a T.

If you want to watch a movie to get you fired up watch Unfaithful with Richard Gere.

Gere wasn’t even a bad husband he just maybe worked too much. I couldn’t even watch that movie when I was in the thick of it. I watched it not long ago and just shook my head and said fuching WWs will risk everything to get the excitement.

I remember watching "Unfaithful" movie 20 years ago and thinking back then if I were on Gere's jury I'd feel like acquitting him for justifiable homicide...and that was well before my current sitch. The prosecutor better strike me from the jury pool at this point!

Funny timing on this topic. Just last night I watched "Crazy, Stupid, Love." on Netflix because the premise is Steve Carrel's wife cheats on him with a coworker and a younger/smoother Ryan Gosling coaches him to get over it and be a ladies man by doing many of the things suggested here, and other places recommended her like the Entrepreneurs in Cars and 3% Man (stop telling people your sob story, up your wardrobe, be more confident...etc.). He even tells him at one point: "Your wife cheated on you because you lost sight of who you are as a man, as a husband, and probably as a lover." Unfortunately it devolves into a typical Hollywood RomCom at the end where all the guys (including the affair partner) get into a scuffle and Carrel appeals to her emotions through "romantic / history talk" and they get back together.

Another great one is "Forgetting Sarah Marshal". Besides being hilarious, it follows the script to a "T". Kristen Bell is cheating on and dumps Jason Segel, who begs and pleads her back initially and she's annoyed by it, but eventually he meets Mila Kunis and starts having fun and enjoying life and realizes all the reasons Kristin Bell's character was awful (whereas she starts remembering how great he was at times compared to the new guy) and wants him back. Fortunately for him he's already moved on with Kunis and is much happier.