Thank you for the birthday wishes. I turned 53. TDH made me and my sister an amazing German dinner and I made us an ice cream birthday cake. My S13 was especially happy about that.
Two months until my house goes on the market. I’ve been spending my spare time trying to organize and donate items I won’t be needing or no longer use. We did that before we moved in 2017 so it’s not a huge amount but it’s amazing what you can accumulate in four years. I’ve also got a number of repairs on my list. My house is only six years old but it needs to be in tip top shape. TDH is coming over for the first week of Spring Break and we are tackling the garage. Most of the stuff that was in there went with XH but it needs to be organized and the walls need to be painted. TDH’s height will come in handy. He can do the high parts. I think I may also power wash the deck. Temperatures are getting more spring like so should be fine.
XH is still on the mainland with OW. HIs one month away turned into two months. As usual, he didn’t bother to tell me...just expected me to wait for him to reappear. I texted him a question about Spring Break and when he was taking the kids and he replied “I’ll be back April 1st.” No apology for giving me a false timeline...one month is a heck of a lot different from two months. Told him the lack of communication doesn’t work for me and that he still has responsibilities towards his kids. A two-minute check in call with them every other day doesn’t really cut it. And I asked him for extra grocery money as he didn’t offer the way I would have if it was me needing him to take the kids for a couple of months. I swear I spend $75 a month on milk alone. Anyway...that all went fine until he sent me a finger-wagging text about how compassionate care is an ever-changing situation and he would take the kids no questions asked when/if I am ever in the same situation. Ummm... F*CK YOU XH!! While you were out faking your medical treatments in 2016 and 2017, I was single parenting, working full time and travelling to the Island to look after my dying mother who required WAY MORE care than OW does. XMIL was just over there and they were going for walks and out for dinner. That was impossible with my mom who needed help to move around in her home and was confused and sad and DYING. It was an awful, awful time and he could have cared less. I went through way worse with way less support. What an a$$ to have the gall to say that to me. Anyway, I nicely (way nicer than he deserved) reminded him and told him he doesn’t get to own the market on this one. Crickets in response. Yeah...you can’t defend the indefensible. He may be playing super hero now but with me he was the super villain and he knows it.
So...crazy situation happened with TDH last week. He called me during my lunch hour and as we were talking, his downstairs neighbours (a couple who argue a lot apparently) walked past him and into their basement suite. Less than a minute later we heard a scream that was so loud he dropped the phone and ran to their door to get in but it was locked so he ran upstairs to pick up the phone to call 911. His 79 year-old mother, however, stopped him from dialing and told him she didn’t want trouble from the guy (he’s a pretty intimidating looking guy and she was worried about making an enemy of him and being harassed after TDH moves out) and to let them work it out. So he didn’t call but it was really bothering him so he went out to the back step and called me. He told me what happened and that things were quiet downstairs now and the door was slightly ajar. They had been in pajamas (odd for adults) when they walked by so he thought maybe they had been drinking and were sleeping it off. I, of course, being the true crime buff that I am, went straight to worse case scenario. “Do you know how many shows I’ve watched where the neighbours heard a scream or a strange noise but then didn’t call because when they went to listen and it was silent? Silence isn’t good!!! People don’t scream like that for no reason. I also reminded him that his gut reaction was to run down there and that he knew something wasn’t right. Anyway... we talked about it for a few more minutes and I told him I would call 911 if he didn’t even though I wasn’t there. Or he could be the good neighbour, knock on the door and check on them like he would want someone else to do if it was his sister and she screamed like that. I think that resonated with him because he said that he was going to go check on them and then call me back. I had a meeting to sign on to so didn’t think much more of it until afterwards and he still hadn’t texted or called. I sent him a text asking if things were okay. Another hour went by. Another text that I was worrying now and to please let me know he is okay. Finally, a full three hours later, I texted him that if he didn’t text me soon, I was going to call the police to check on him. Fifteen minutes later, I get a text... “She was stabbed. I crawled to her on the floor.” At that point, I thought he was messing with me until he sent me another text saying she was at the hospital in emergency surgery and that he found her wheezing and gasping for air. Apparently when he went down there, he knocked at the door for a bit but when no one answered, he yelled that he was coming in to make sure they were okay and saw her lying on the floor as soon as he walked in. He slipped because there was so much blood. He says he panicked because he didn’t know if the guy was still there and if he was about to be stabbed himself (he found out later that the guy had taken off when he heard TDH running up the back stairs). He called 911 and the police arrived in full gear with semi-automatic weapons.
He was still in shock when I finally talked to him. He credits me with saving her life because he isn’t 100% sure he would have gone down there if I hadn’t been on the phone with him talking about worst case scenarios. His mom was pretty clear she wouldn’t have gone down and was apparently yelling at him not to go when he finally did. Needless to say, she was in shock too. Even though I had convinced him that something bad could have happened, none of us expected him to walk into what he walked into. The police called me that night for my statement and oddly enough, even victim’s assistance called me to make sure I was okay. I’m fine, I was just on the phone with the scream happened. TDH, on the other hand, is struggling. It’s not like the movies. When you witness something like that, it is an assault on all of your senses so he keeps hearing the sounds of her struggling to breathe and the smell of blood. And the fear he felt when he thought the guy might still be in the house and going to stab him for coming into the house. He’s not sleeping and has been having bad dreams when he does sleep. He’s feeling guilty too, that he didn’t follow through with the 911 call when he went to make it the first time. Even though she is still alive, she would have had a better chance of survival had he gotten her help sooner and I know that is weighing on him. However, the officer I talked to told me that, in her experience, the vast majority of people would not have gone down there and would not have called 911 so he is a hero in her books. I have relayed that to him a few times. Anyway... he has an appointment with a counsellor today so hopefully that helps.
So...that’s my update. All in all, doing pretty well. (((HUGS))) to all of you in DB Land.
I think I may also power wash the deck. Temperatures are getting more spring like so should be fine.