One foot in front of the other

[ovrrnbw]

H has been staying at another place this past month. I just found out he’s coming back to stay at the house for the week. This I’ll be the first I’ve been around him more than 5 minutes since the love letter episode. I’m not really sure how I feel about it. It’s cheaper financially and it gives him more time with our son. But I don’t want him to feel too comfortable like it’s cake eating either. I do plan to get out of the house as much as I can during the week.

But also hoping I can use this time to get the agreement finalized. But it also might be when he serves me D papers as he mentioned legal stuff coming. But it wasn’t clear if it’s just his comments to the agreement. I’ve been in the dumps lately so it’s time I fake it till I make it and be happy and GALing as much as possible this week. I definitely need to snap out of this funk I’ve been in.

Any suggestions? Should I avoid time with him like walks etc? Should I try to be in other rooms, etc? Our last convo was how I don’t want to be ‘friends’ but I don’t want to be enemies either, especially with son here and upcoming D process.

Feeling a bit out of sorts about it.

Hi El,

I know that him coming back, even if just for a week, can add pressure. Add in the fact that he may or may not serve you and you're probably halfway to the nut house. Your best remedy is to let go of that and focus your mental energy into something productive. Remember, everything is a matter of judgment. You can take this positively or negatively and to whatever degree you choose.

If you can find some activity, work, house project, social life, etc (not sure how things are near you) that would be great! I would be getting out of the house as well. If nothing else, take a book to a park and hang out. That was one of my go-to's and my W often wanted to know where I had been. Reread the detachment and validation threads every day this week and you will be well on your way to the "not friends but not enemies" position that you seek.