I have never had 50/50, or even 90/10 parenting support in my entire motherhood and it is AMAZING. So much so that I wonder where we would be right now if I had better boundaries from the beginning about more equitable household/parenting support. I am able to be a 110% mother when I have the children, but I also have time for self-care, professional development and mental health support. I am more 'me' then I have been in years and years.
I love this! Even 75% custody was AMAZING in my own divorce after being used to being a 90% dad. You are more you than you've ever been. You're finding time for self-care. This is all fantastic.
Originally Posted by Sage
how do I deal with the passive-agressive behavior?
Sage, fortunately, or unfortunately, I don't have much experience with passive-aggressive ex's. Ellen Hendricksen has an article on dealing with such people. She suggests, if helping them get their feelings out isn't workable, to take a two-pronged approach of VALIDATE + HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE. E.g., if you ask them to get the laundry out and they do so and drop it on the dinner table ("You didn't tell me where to put them or to fold them."), you VALIDATE ("You're right.") then HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE ("Please fold them then put them on the bed upstairs.") Her use of "Validate" is a bit different than the DB meaning, since you're acknowledging their perspective.
Maybe others here have personal experiences to share. If you want tips for crazy ex's, I'm your guy!
