I don't have much in the way of advice but wanted to point out that your W's affair is based on lies and deceit, it already has an expiration date. It might look like she's having a blast at the moment but that won't last. Once those affair chemicals wear off, she's in for a rude awakening.
Keep working on yourself, once you get past the betrayal and pain, you will smile once again.
Many years ago, I had a 6 year relationship sour. But we owned nothing in common and both went our separate ways. There was no long lasting bitterness because niether made out financially. This time STBXW is going to walk away with. boatload of cash, so if her current sitch fails, I'm sure that someone else will come in and fil that slot. I think that is what burns me up the most, that she is using our money on her affair, and probably for other OMs in the future.
I was visiting my buddy with the crushed leg who had a WW 6 years ago. He just finished paying alimony and is still bitter.I am praying I am not like that after D and will work on it.
Anyhow his XW lost her waitress job during covid. So she is coming around and helping him with the bandages, shopping, etc. She had a Bachelrs degree since they D, but has been working as a waitress since D mostly living off alimony. Never gets out of bed before 11. Lives in a 1 BR shack. So I guess the fantasy romance she invisioned never materialized. Remember, my buddy was an airline captain.
So my buddy gives her an extra alimony payment for helping out Buys her a $1000 laptop for Christmas. They have some conversation about her comng over one night and she says she has an appointment. He asks you mean a date? She says I am not comfortable discussing my personal life with you.
Later on, in same conversation, she mentions she is finishing up her Masters degree and is strapped for money. Can he pay for some of her education expenses? Get this, my buddy is considering it.
So I channeled LH, CW, Sandi and whatevr name Steve is going by this week and told him NO. If you were married, you would gladly pay for it, but she fired you from that job. It's not your responsibility. He says he doesn't want her thrown into the street, or her power cut off. I point out that this situation is entirely of her own making, she is lazy and underemployed, and that these are foreseeable results. And she wont discuss her personal life with you, so she is obviously not your friend.
And LH you would have been proud of him 6 years ago after BD he actually threw her stuff on the front lawn. He gave her 30 days to get the rest of her stuff, after which he threw it away, including her college diploma.
I felt like one of the veterans on the board, wielding a 2x4.
