One question that jumped out at me May...is all the work that you have done and all the pain and hurt that you have felt, and continue to feel, worth it only to have a M that lacks the emotional intimacy that you desire?
Of course not. Not in the end. But we are only in the very beginning stages of piecing. I'm not prepared to bail out now after everything we've been through. And the same reasons I stood (my children) are still here, still have no idea any of this happened and I still think it is worth it-- for them and for my H and me-- to give this M the best shot we possibly can.
Thank you for writing this-- you've reminded me of the big reasons I'm here, and it is a good reminder to keep focusing on my ultimate goal. I may end up bailing in the end. I may not. But I want to know I tried. And truth is, we do have flashes of the emotional intimacy, more and more. But it certainly isn't where I want to be. Nor do I think true emotional intimacy will be possible until we've worked through a lot of the stuff around the A-- and we simply aren't there yet. We've barely started.
Having gone through all of this, I don't think I would be satisfied with a mediocre M again. M1.0 won't do it for me any more. M2.0 or bust!
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
