I am not detached, Pack19 part4

[SteveLW]

That's exactly the way you should have handled it this time!

I know, but it does not feel the same when you are young and have no responsibilities to tell a GF, screw you I will not tolerate this behaviour, and to do the same with your W and the mother of your 2 children when you have a family and a life with them.

So what would she have to do before it trumped being your W and mother of your 2 children? Sleep with more than one other guy? Where do you draw the line that being your W and mother of your 2 kids no longer gives her a pass?

I am reading Holding on to your nuts and I am very focused on me now. I think a lot about how long it has been since this began. I can see many changes in me I want to keep as a man, but I am scared my mind will never be able to put a healthy end to this suffering I have inside. I cried this morning while having breakfast after I left the kids at school, I have been feeling very lonely lately but I try to use it as motivation to push me to be happy alone, single, divorced or whatever is it that I am now.

Being sad and lonely is part of the journey. No one on this board ever says that the journey to better days in the future won't have pain. It is kind of like road construction. They put up signs that say: "Short-term inconvenience mean long-term relief!" You will feel sad. You will feel lonely. But that short-term pain will lead to long-term being stronger, happier and more awesome. So when sad and lonely remember that it is a temporary state.

It makes me think about the show Everyone Loves Raymond. Raymond is talking to his single brother that lives alone, and they are comparing who has it worse. Raymond says to him in the discussion: "You are lucky, at my house I am just happy if I can get 5 minutes in the bathroom alone without maniacs pounding on the door!" So look at the bright side of being on your own. I was a bachelor for several years before I met my W. I remember as we got more serious I actually struggled with her being there so often, and not having "my space". Enjoy your "space"! (I know, easier said than done.)