TO MrBSide's point, Steve_ you have made progress. But is obvious that if she were to say the right things "I WANT to be in the marriage, stop the D, and work on this" you'd be open to it. She knows that. But she is trying to skate the line of WW's: do what she wants, but keep you waiting in the wings. At this point with your situtation, I would prefer if you were replacing “honey I’m not a side husband. You can be single or you can be with me fixing this, it’s not both.” with "Woman, not if you were the last female on planet Earth!"

BUT, having said that, this is so much better than running out and buying her flowers and gifts only to find gifts from OM1-12! So good job on standing your ground. I think as you continue to wake up to life post-D you will realize that this is the best thing for you, and that you will be so much happier without her drama and always having to wonder what she is doing and who she is doing it with. I mean, seriously, will you ever fully trust her ever again? Most MR can barely withstand 1 or 2 As, your STBXW has been an A per minute!

Also good job on not just running around bandaiding your pain with wanton sex. Well done, most guys in that situation would have been all about getting some just for the sake of getting some, and not caring who got hurt. I think it is LH that said that no matter what women say, the vast majority of them are always wanting more (IE long-term commitment). I think of the movie Vanilla Sky where Tom Cruise thought he had nothing more than a sex buddy, and Cameron Diaz thought that the sex meant he was hers! So well done. The only thing worse than having trouble with one significant other is having trouble with two significant others!

Originally Posted by Steve_


I made a study group to help two buddies from work through nursing school. They are coming this week. Also I am taking my kids hiking with a bunch of nurses and friends at work this week. Am I’m okay? No. So I love my wife.. yes I do. But I know it’s over. And it [censored] but I’m gonna be okay.



LOVE IT!!!!

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018