I am not detached, Pack19 part4

[Pack_19]

I recently read that one of the first steps in overcoming betrayal is forgiveness. What I didn't consider, is that forgiveness has a price. It always does and always will. Our natural expectation is for the other person to pay that price. In my case, I want my wife to be remorseful and show love and affection.

Hi reason, thanks for your post. I did also read not long ago forgiveness comes at the price of the forgiver. You know I always thought I was offering her my forgiveness when after all her threats, comments and actions I would stay there talking to her when we exchanged the kids, or offered her to go for a walk. I guess I was very wrong, I can forgive her but I am not sure if that is the man I am and the message I want to send to my kids.

For me, I have to kill off my anger towards a PA. I have to kill off my expectations. I have to kill off a lack of trust. Man, I need a lot of ammo. This is getting to be an extensive list!

For me is the feeling that she is the most important woman in my life and my feelings for her.

Having temporary relationships that are only designed to bring you pleasure, is also not good in a wholesome sense. They may be temporarily fulfilling, but in the end, you will be alone again.

Keep working on yourself. Re-define your motivation. Figure out what your driving factor is. It can't be your W or M. It needs to be something that will be implacable. A beacon to help you find your way. You have to be the best "you" so that this M or a future R can be healthy but also, so your life can be healthy.

Best of luck Pack, I really wish you all the best.

I never wanted temporary relationships, but I am dealing with a lot of loneliness now. It does not scare me, is juts very painful in the same way that it is painful to think about the way W has built a life from scratch as if nothing had happened before and where I am not even a thought.

I have been thinking a lot about something that really pushes me to become that best version of myself. My children, they will learn from me how to be a man and how to act in life. I want to look at them as they grow and see strong, good men and I want to go to bed everyday knowing the person next to me loves me and feeling the same for her. To get there, I must first learn to be happy alone, to love my bright and dark sides and to be a man of integrity and true values.


P - Work on my muscles (crossfit), keep up running and biking, always dress with style and practice the sexual kung-fu
I - Get a couple of certifications at work, promote to L6, continue to read about what makes a loving and strong man and attraction. Get the motorbike driving license
E - Try to active listen to anyone I interact with, detach from W and be cheerful and happy about the things in my life.
S - Surrender to the fact that I cannot control my way out, have a better R with myself and better understand my emotions

NC towards WAW, no R at all, bringing up my boundaries and 200% focused on making Pack the best man I can be! Thank you all!