Originally Posted by kml
Just a word about the smoking - don’t expect it to stop. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, move on.

It’s so common for people to say they are an occasional smoker. That’s sorta like being an occasional heroine user. Sure heroin or opioids have the psychological addiction. However all of them have physical addiction. And it’s nearly impossible to smoke and not become physically addicted to the nicotine. When the withdraws kick in they can’t really help but feed that biological drive. Now I’ve seen people taper down to a couple a day. It’s those last couple that are hard to break. Maybe, possibly, that could be the occasional smoker. While not a pack a day or even half a pack a day it’s regular and often daily. Don’t trust anyone who says it’s occasional. They are lying to you and to themselves. It’s their way of trying to spin or minimize the truth. I’ve met far too many who claimed to be “occasional” and a day or two was the max they could go without.

But you knew this going in. Telling that it was an issue even though you overlooked it at the start. Toe nails. Now that’s a new one. I remember someone telling a friend of mine her next guy would have to like Oreo cookies. OMG run away. Run fast!

You’re just not into him. And that’s okay. No harm if you want to try one more but he will still be a smoker. He will still be bald. He could cut his toe nails so 1 out of 3 maybe. There was just no spark. That’s okay.

I agree. You’re doing this well. You’re taking the steps, giving the chance. Unless you’re willing to overlook a lot, as some tend to do so they can be with someone, you might find it. If you are picky and stick to you standards, it’s much ,I have harder. Trust me!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D