So I think you have to look at each situation individually and adjust accordingly. In your sitch self-respect may have been the problem, but in SD's a lack of respect from a WW might have been the key.
It was definitely a big part of it all, because you can't respect someone who doesn't respect themselves. If you asked me a year ago if I respected myself, I likely would've said "sure, of course, duh!" but looking back now I can see the truth of how I really was. Does that excuse my W? Nope, like 97Hope said - "get a dog."
Originally Posted by SteveLW
And in society that now tries to deny the biological differences between men and women, it can cause confusion when LBHs, like myself and SD, come here with our self-confidence completely shot by WWs that lost any shred of respect for us 2+ years ago.
I think the biological stuff is separate from the "masculine" vs. "feminine" needs we all have though. I think a lot of men in our situations focus heavily on the more macho aspects of being masculine and swing from being a doormat to something out of Jersey Shore to compensate for our self-confidence being completely shot. Even if things don't work out for my M, I don't have any desire to be a "player" looking for hookups and all that and if things don't work out I know it won't destroy my confidence the way it would've 3-4 months ago.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
But the fact that the majority of heterosexual women cannot be attracted to a man that they do not respect is a pretty well-known fact.
Totally agree, however the variable in that equation is different women respect different things. My W is a strong-willed, stubborn, Finnish/Irish woman with a doctorate. Me standing up and saying "listen here little lady...." won't fly. (Not that that is what people are suggesting I do). Her seeing me do 180s, being present, being more confident in myself, getting in shape, and all the GAL stuff though, is a different story. It is tough to quantify, but the energy I give off today is so much different than what it was a year ago. I laugh SO much more. I remember at one point last year where we were doing something and we both started laughing - full on belly laughs - and after I thought to myself how GOOD that felt because I hadn't done it in so long.
