Sort of finally accepted things. I don't really talk to WW unless its absolutely neccesary. She prodded out yesterday a bit asking me about getting a compression belt for her recent hernia surgery. I told her only "if its comfortable, that's fine, go for it" that was it. Not another word. I did get called by the discharge nurse because I am still "the husband" when she went into recovery on Tuesday and I took her home (nobody else could literally, she thanked me and that was it, simple nothing else). I took my son and left to the gym, she complimented my new clothes, new haircut and my physique improvement, I said thank you and left. Very simple.
Since then I haven't said anything to her, that was Tuesday. I feel a bit mixed up. This is the least contact I have had with her since BD and OM. Its hard because I want to reach out and say xxx and yyy but I have realized it makes zero difference. All this time I refused to accept what she told me with her words and actions. I finally actually have. I do sometimes feel defeated but I know I gave it a really good shot and im okay with that. I really did do my best to love her through it. I don't have any regrets besides not standing up for myself sooner, this stage is now depression. I am doing alright with it, hitting the gym, cooking for myself, talking to friends and so on. I am starting to imagine a life without my WW but it still scares me, the "unknown" I know that I will eventually be happy again but for now things suck. I get some small moments in my day where I watch a tv show or do other things that help me not think about it. So far its just NC and trying to GAL. I did ask a female coworker I have a lot in common with out to dinner. I don't expect anything, just to go out with a person that gets me. I don't need any drama right now, I just did it to have some interaction besides with my kids or at work.
Just moving forward one day at a time and trying to take a step away from this each day. Its tough but ill get there. The depression gets to me sometimes but its not so much feeling like I need to take any action, its more of a "wish it went different" and looking back and realizing just how bad it all was.
Last edited by Steve_; 02/25/2106:28 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
