"Received your email. Not really sure what you mean. The details are too vague. I also invested in the house with years of going to sea. Not sure what to do right now. I miss D4 and also will need to have a place to spend time with her".
Have not responded to xh yet, or consulted with a lawyer, just shared with you all and a trusted friend.
What I do know is, the email I sent was pretty clear outlining I wanted to take over the house (buy him out), I put down the facts (if we were to sell house-minus x-debts,y-costs to sell & repairs if needed we'd end up with = z. take away my investment and we split the rest 50/50). It's what's outlined in our decree; but with me being the buyer.
Not sure what xh means by "the details are too vague", but that's how he sees it. He probably hasn't looked at out decree since he signed it almost a year ago. At least he's replied, and the door to discussion is open.
xh: "Not sure what to do right now". Okay, at least you've given a reply. You need time to think.
xh: "I miss D4..." Nice to hear, I don't doubt that he does. But actions speak louder than words. Do I need to remind him that he can contact her anytime? Maybe... although I have done it many times in the past. Maybe, just to show my side as open and willing to cooperate.
xh; "...and also will need to have a place to spend time with her". Honestly, I don't feel like it's up to me to find a place for xh. He has a 6 figure income, so money SHOULD not be a problem. If he was able to carry on an affair with someone from another country, "while at sea", without me knowing, he can figure out accommodations.
I think xh might be hoping that D4 & I would move to his home state, where most of his family is. That way, he doesn't have to find a place, because he'll just crash with family. That may have been a thought in the beginning, but that is not the case now. I've already stated that we want to stay where we are, in the only home D4 has ever known. And she starts school in the fall. I don't want to disrupt that. AND COVID! Not the best time to move to another state that has HIGH numbers. Just saying... Perhaps in the future this might happen, but not right now. I wouldn't say that to xh.
Right now I think it is best for D4 and I to stay where we are in this house and with his cooperation, it can happen. I don't want to disrupt her life or mine anymore than it has been. We've been living this life ALL her life, and it has suited us all fine, (including xh, until it didn't).
Any way. As you can probably tell, I'm still emotional, and not ready to reply. Obviously, I will not say any of the above, as I was mostly venting. But here's the thing, do I GO for it with MORE a more detailed explanation, or start off with a few more crumbs?
Originally Posted by XH
"Received your email. Not really sure what you mean. The details are too vague. I also invested in the house with years of going to sea. Not sure what to do right now. I miss D4 and also will need to have a place to spend time with her".
ie: Hi xh, thank you for your reply. I understand that you are not sure what to do right now, and if I can address what is unclear, or vague I'd be a happy to answer any questions you might have to help us move forward with things.
As always, know that you can contact D4 any time. Just reach out and we'll figure something out. You're her dad, I will always cooperate with you on making sure you can connect with her. I'm always going to work with you when it comes to D4.
Be Well, Be Safe CanBird
Thoughts? Of course I will have a business plan/letter/proposal ready to go too. Just thought I should feed the duck while his head is above water.
Last edited by CanBird; 02/25/2105:47 PM.
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
