I am not detached, Pack19 part4

[Pack_19]

Pack if you are going to rate how you are DBing by rather it stops your divorce you will not like the outcome. The vast majority of the people who come here end up divorced.

Hi LH! I never meant to assess my DB success by means of the outcome of the situation. It is just incredibly hard to see and feel your improvement and yet get no change or hope from your WAW. I know it is the rule, I am just saying it is incredibly hard and I have had many slips were I felt discourage and a failure. It takes two to make a M and a R in this cases, I dont think she will ever do her work, I am trying to be happy now. By focusing on myself, my hobbies, sports, the kids and my career I am making myself a better man, for my future. That would make my a success, come out of this as the best version of Pack!

So you are being a great father to get your W back? If that is true she can see right through it.

No, I am being the best father I can be for my children because they deserve it and I love them and I want them to be happy even with all that is happening.

In other words, nailing my 50% of the work to get us back in a good place, without throwing rocks at her new life and castle. I guess that is the only last try I have, after that I will get the peace of mind that I gave it the most.

I am afraid you are going to be disappointed.

You are right, nothing is going to change, it's been to long and she has chosen her path. Better to focus on my picnic.

So you will file in May?

Yes I will. And I will start to plan my comeback to Madrid when I dont have the kids.

I think it stinks. Approaches, strategies, tricks etc don't work.

Control is an illusion, let go and let life happen... thanks for the honest answer LH!

Why would you have guilt?

Well because I certainly played a part in the downfall of this M and that means I have to take responsibility for that part and change anything that led me to contribute.

It is intoxicating and the way it should be. Like David Deida says in "Way of a Superior Man", "choose a woman who chooses you". Now can you imagine this type of behavior from your W right now?

No, it seems she has chosen another person, which should give me the strength to never look back. I deserve someones who thinks being with me is better than being with anyone else.

You should not D your W to date other women.

I will feel more in peace LH. What do you mean here, that my motivation is wrong or that I can date while married? The motivation would not be that, the motivation would be to break this illusion of a tie between us that is only causing me misery and harm right now. The motivation is to give Pack a blank sheet to write the next years of his life.

You control your thoughts Pack.

And why every single time I see here I just get all these feelings and emotions and the desire to repair this situation? My brain must be very weak in this sense... I am broken inside!

So why do you think your W doesn't want to be with you anymore?

Because she has decided we fought a lot, our kids were growing in a poor environment and we grew to be parents and not partners and she blames me for not changing it on time. LH, because she has chosen to and it is not my job to change her mind.

Thanks a lot for your post!
((hugs))
Pack