Thank you all for the great advice. So far I am doing my best to follow it, except I catch myself now and then straying from DBing.
Sandi, I really appreciate the time you have taken out of your day to write your reply and for the 2x4s - honest constructive criticism is much needed in my case! For the last two days I have been reading and re-reading your post so it can all sink in. I think this is the issue that I have long been unaware of. Up until BD almost two years ago I did not realize what a huuuuge case of NGS I have. I admit that throughout my life I have been trying to please those around me, even at my own expense some of the time. Back in the fall of last year I had a few IC sessions and in the middle of the very first session the therapist told me that I don't ever put myself first, but everybody else and that is very wrong and unhealthy. I have already started working on this problem, almost finished NMMNG and will keep reading all I can find and hopefully improve.
The latest in our situation is that she still wants to go abroad for a month to get herself together, however this will place a big burden on me and S6, between my job, his school and the need for an outside caretaker. I am leaning more towards not letting her go while the school year is still on, however I am trying to find the balance not to be too controlling.
Finally, a bit of off-topic, related to the other thread started by Sandi. I don't post often about my sitch for a number of reasons. Between early and late work, commuting plus helping home S6 with virtual learning I don't get too much peaceful time and leftover energy to sit down and craft a proper post. The second reason is that not much is happening on a day to day basis at home at this point and I wouldn't want to water down the thread with too many matters of no concern.
And yet, a big thank you to all that stopped by my sitch and offered advice and support. It means a lot to me.
