Florida was good, I'm not sure the folks here would be very supportive of my trip. I ended up meeting someone, we played golf, hung out on the beach, I had an unbelievable amount of fun, I don't think a woman has complimented me that much in my life, she was gorgeous and sexy and sharp. It made me recognize my value in an incredible way.
It was very hard to come back. Its hard to get back into dad mode. I just want this divorce over with and I want to move on. I'm nervous about the next phase. What my X did to me and my psyche is hard for me to recognize. I'm not sure I'll ever love like I did. I'm not sure I'll ever trust like I did. And I will certainly never give my life away to someone else to let them do what they want with. I'm not sure I'll be open to getting married again, which flies in the face of my more traditional values, but I'm just not sure I can do it - time will tell.
I'm a lot angrier with my X than I was. She came by yesterday and to drop something off for my son and I just wanted her to freaking get out. She called me over the weekend for something with my kids and I text her back. I want nothing to do with her, I want the divorce over with so I can move on.
I've heard a lot of the feedback about getting comfortable being alone and being independent. The spring is breaking and that will help because with more sunlight I'll be able to do more of the things I like to do - but I also like companionship, I think that's pretty natural.
