Nothing has changed with H, but after almost two years of this, I have had a mental awakening of sorts.
I (to my knowledge) have been GALing, I have an IHS and I have not done laundry or made meals with him in mind for a long time now. He is a roommate. I had a bad day on Sunday, and I don't know what was so different, since he is still the same MLC man. But anyway, that night I really prayed and I asked for help.
Later, I was reading through the posts here and found a response that Sandi had given to someone. Nothing new, after two years, we know what we are supposed to do, but at that moment, it was like a lightbulb moment. I realized some of the things that I have been hesitant to do around here and do FOR ME need to be done.
I went to bed in a peaceful mood.
Monday was a regular workday and not a lot of any interaction.
Today, I woke up and I feel amazing. I had my IC by the phone and when she asked how I was doing and I said "great" she even responded "really?" I can say, maybe there was a further dropping of a mental rope, but I feel good.
I have really been focusing on the length of this marathon, it is daunting. I think of the things I take care of here and I know he is a grown man, but i also know things like taxes, cooking, grocery shopping (for other than frozen snacks) he leaves to me. He has an expensive hobby that I would assume wanting a D, he would sell so he can buy somewhere to live, but he is doubling down by readying for the upcoming season.
H would have to move out of the country to be with OW2, he could, but he would more than likely need to sell the items to afford that change. I also think if OW was here, I might think differently.
Anyway, anyone out there that is struggling today, take a deep breath. You will be ok, I know I will.
