Lately I took my son fishing, got some new gym clothes, couple things I wanted.
For me I am continuing IC, I am working as much as I can, I try not to think about this, I am beginning to see happiness with someone else later but I don’t want to go looking for it. I will just sit here quietly, work on my fitness, my kids and that’s about it. I’m gonna double down at the gym before the depression has me bounce back to pre-BD weight. It’s trying. Only thing I can do at this point is honestly nothing. Which is weird for me. But it is what it is.
Yes there are a lot of times during the day the loneliness gets me, I wish I had someone to love that reciprocated, but that’s the codependency issue I’m struggling with. I need to get to the point where I’m totally okay alone. Where I find contentment. Then I can go from there. It is a daily struggle and I still feel sad about losing the image of what my wife and I were but it’s all it was, an image. In my mind, Nothing more.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
