Tired

[SteveLW]

I have a few questions below and will appreciate any advice.


1. Should I call OM and tell him to never contact her again for any reason whatsoever? I have a feeling that this might not be the most productive conversation but still.

This is for her to do, not you. This is you trying to control the situation, a situation you have no control over. I've never seen a situation where a LBS called the OP and told them to stay away, and the OP went "Oh, okay!" Either your W is going to recommit back to the MR and tell OM it is over, or she isn't. That is up to her and you trying to do that isn't going to make a hill of beans.

2. Should I ask her to block him on all possible SM and other means of communication and delete all the photos that she has of them together?

Again, this has to e her idea, not yours. Even if she agrees to do this, if she isn't ready it will be half-hearted, cause resentment, and make her feel controlled, something she will want to rebel against. Every time you take an action like this it will most likely backfire. So you have to back off and realize that if she is really ending it with OM then that is up to her, and you have no control over it.

3. Should I set a boundary if she ever contacts him or vice versa (and she replies) she will have to leave the house immediately? As in the previous advice, I am not going to tell her that boundary but rather act if there is any contact between them.

This is a good boundary IF you are willing to follow through. One small tweak, it is only if she contacts him or engages him. She cannot help if he contacts her. You need to try not to fixate so much on OM. He isn't the problem, your WW is. If it wasn't him it would be some other man. So stop putting so much focus on him. Remember to, that likely legally shed doesn't have to leave. So you can ask her to leave but you cannot make her.

I know my WW pretty well and I know that she has a very weak willpower and either she will contact OM first or he will reach out to her. I am afraid in a few days when the stress wears off and she gets bored with the house chores she might get depressed and hopeless and reach out to her "special drug" for relieve and some more fantasy pills. And then we find ourselves in the same cycle. Other than GAL and not pursuing should I be doing anything else?

This isn't your WW, this is all WWs! Either she is really recommitting to the MR or she is not. You cannot control that. Focus on what you can control: YOU!