Don't get me wrong, b/c there is always room for doubting another person who will hold some type of influence in your child's life. I'd think it would be much more when that OP has participated in the breakup of your family.
This is it Sandi. If the WAS/WS met someone after D who had not participated in the breakup of the family then accepting that person around your child, whilst still difficult, would be much more palatable. My S loved nothing more than our family, we went on amazing holidays together, enjoyed our weekends, etc. I just don't feel right exposing him to a person who was complicit in breaking that apart. I am fortunate that my STBXW and I have agreed that the other person has to approve of anyone who meets our S (though I realise that she was probably go back on that sooner or later).
This is exactly what i meant. Someone that comes along post D can be just as toxic, and even more dangerous to the kids. LBSs get fixated on OP when OP isn't really the problem, they are a symptom. But that fixation causes the LBS to "not want the OP around the kids for the sake of protecting the kids". It is misplaced. OB feelings are feelings, and you can't help how you feel, but be honest about them.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
