Tired

[ovrrnbw]

I can barely stop myself from smothering and nicing her

The word "barely" is another way of saying that you accomplished your goal. You did it. Good job, it gets easier with repetition.

Definitely detach further. Don't let her actions dictate your mood. Have the superior attitude that drives your words and deeds.

As a detached man, I can tell you your kid going overseas for a month in the middle of this situation wouldn't fly with me. I understand her needing time and space, but if he goes prepare to never see him again.

Sandi wrote earlier that my WW is conveniently enjoying both the affair and the comfort and security of home. This is very objective and correct view on the sitch and I believe it is my mistake for enabling it for so long. I think my lesson here is not to be so passive going forward and confront her immediately if any such disrespect occurs.

Well her home is her home, and yours too, she should be comfortable there. The comfort and security of home that Sandi refers to is her R with you. She is picking and choosing. People will treat you as bad as you allow them to, so figure out what you won't deal with and go from there. No heavy confrontation, make it known and then follow through. Or better yet let your actions speak for you. LBS's are always so keen on their words, but, like life, it is our deeds that matter most.

Answer to questions 1, 2, and 3 are all no because you'll look weak and you have no control over it.

Other than GAL and not pursuing should I be doing anything else?

GAL should be pretty consuming. Whether it's fun, social, work, reading, personal growth - this should be your focus. You should be enjoying your time on this planet, it is quite limited.