Here is the latest about our sitch. A few days ago was when WW was supposed to visit OM. We had a few talks in the days before her departure and I told her that I know where she is going and what she will be doing but did not tell her explicitly to go or not. Her intentions were that she wanted to go but had an emotional breakdown in the last moment, turned around and came home. She also told OM that she doesn't love him and then they proceeded to block each other's phone numbers. In the last couple of days there is more peace at home, however I know that most likely this is not the end of the story. While she told her best friend that she is ashamed of her actions and the pain and destruction she is causing me, she never told me any of that. She has not recommited to our relationship and stated that most likely we will need to live separately to see where our relationship goes. I am on the fence deciding how to treat her as on one side my NGS takes over and I can barely stop myself from being nice to her; on the other hand my mind tells me that that is not the best idea as she has not earned the respect and my love back. One other thing I noticed this week is how much influence her actions have on my mind as I turned from sad to happy on the morning she was supposed to leave and later on she decided not to. I admit that I realize that I will be better off to get to a point where her actions have no influence on my emotions, but I am still working on that.
The big question is where do we go from here?! She wants to take S6 and go stay with her parents in another country for one month to clear her mind. This is possible due to the online schooling that S6 has; she will be paying for her trip expenses while I will be covering S6's costs. I think that will be very beneficial for her mental health to do that, however I will not be happy not seeing my child for a month.
Sandi wrote earlier that my WW is conveniently enjoying both the affair and the comfort and security of home. This is very objective and correct view on the sitch and I believe it is my mistake for enabling it for so long. I think my lesson here is not to be so passive going forward and confront her immediately if any such disrespect occurs.
I have a few questions below and will appreciate any advice.
1. Should I call OM and tell him to never contact her again for any reason whatsoever? I have a feeling that this might not be the most productive conversation but still.
2. Should I ask her to block him on all possible SM and other means of communication and delete all the photos that she has of them together?
3. Should I set a boundary if she ever contacts him or vice versa and she replies she will have to leave the house immediately?
I know my WW pretty well and I know that she has a very weak willpower and either she will contact OM first or he will reach out to her. I am afraid in a few days when the stress wears off and she gets bored with the house chores she might get depressed and hopeless and reach out to her "special drug" for relieve and more fantasy pills. And then we find ourselves in the same cycle. Other than GAL and not pursuing should I be doing anything else?
