So, today I get my loan for 17k. I had to contact her and let her know I gave the broker his fee because it was facilitated through her. (Was absolutely neccesary) I only sent a screen shot that I had paid the man. She replies with this "I dont see the money for me finding the loan or the money for my gucci purse you promised"
I have not responded. I know no matter what I say she will fire back a rude, demeaning and disrespectful comment. If i give her the money she will just pretend she cares, I will slide futher into pathetic LBH land and she will be happy. So I certainly dont want to do that. Especially after this:
Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of our marriage. Until she pays the filing fee we are legally still married. Papers signed everything ready to go but she owes the L money. So thats in limbo atm. Also after her giving me the "I love you husband" card on the 14th then going out of town to meet up with a man she was talking to (lied she wasnt talking to anyone of course) I called it, snapped and havent said anything besides the loan the last 4 days. She sent me a picture of the purse she had bought, a $3,000 Gucci bag and said she ditched the date because of me and bought a purse instead and now feels like I should owe her. I think she is pretending she caught a whiff of guilt or something and is trying to test to see how pathetic I will respond. I have not.
I am deciding if I should respond to her message today where she asked me about paying for the purse. I did tell her I wanted to get her something nice for our 10th anniversary (before I knew she was talking to other men). Now that I do I sure as hell dont feel like doing anything. I am not a mean person so I dont want to fire back some emotional anger response I feel like saying absolutely nothing. I will be spending the day alone tomorrow on our 10th anniversary. I havent decided what to do yet.I am leaning on zero response. (I think so far thats been the only thing ive done right the last 4 days).
So far with that loan I paid off my truck, a credit card and a personal loan. That saves me $620 a month. I bought myself a new beard trimmer, some protien powder I really like, a blender bottle, a dresser and a couple new grunt style T shirts in XL since I am no longer XXL. I tucked away 10k for savings and put around $500 into Acorns (the stock savings kinda app). Thats it. I certainly dont want to shoot $1500 to someone spoiled woman who believes to be entitled to it since I am the weak simp that always takes care of her. I was considering splurgin one time and taking myself out tomorrow, maybe to the gun range to shoot a bit, maybe to a cabin and go fishing. Havent decided but Ill do something for sure, alone, wont respond to her. She WILL try to illicit something on our 10th Ill bet. I cannot buckle. I want to respond, I want to say (I would love to buy you that stuff for our anniversary, Its really important to me and I wanted to spoil you, but I cant do that while you are seeing other men, I wont. ) but even that she will fire back something like "wow, you liar" or "wow your so sensitive" or "you always get nasty when its not your way" or just something stupid to punish me for standing up for myself, whenever I do i get punished and fold. I wont do that.
I talked to my IC about that and he said "wow man you sound a lot better than you did last month, it seems like logically you get it, you just gotta keep making your heart believe what your mind knows is true" So thats what Im working on.
My plan is to do nothing at all whatsoever and let her just go off pretty much. I expect it to get nasty, I expect her to threaten to go out with more men, pretty much anything to hurt me for not complying with her demands. Thats the bed I made for myself with this woman and I gotta face that now unfortunately. She will not like me ignoring her at all. She will get nasty.
Many years ago I left to a friends house when we had a fight. She drove around town looking for me, the three of us were walking back from a supermarket and she spotted us. She jumped out of the car with her friend ran up to me punched me twice and kicked me once. (only time she ever did that, like 7 years ago or so) I did not move and took it out of 1. shock and 2. I was holding a 30 pack of bud light and didnt wanna drop it. She then got in the friends car and sped away yelling out the window "im gonna go [censored] someone and send you a picture" ... yeah thats the person she is. This is gonna get ugly. I have never stood up to this and said '"no" until now. Storm incoming...
Hold the line my friend. You owe her ZERO. NADA. NOTHING. Just do you and keep radio silence! I love this update, keep up the progress, Steve_!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
