She replies with this "I dont see the money for me finding the loan or the money for my gucci purse you promised"
Steve, did you unblock her cell phone and/or social messaging? Your plan was e-mail only.
Originally Posted by Steve_
So, today I get my loan for 17k. I had to contact her and let her know I gave the broker his fee because it was facilitated through her. (Was absolutely neccesary) I only sent a screen shot that I had paid the man. She replies with this "I dont see the money for me finding the loan or the money".. So far with that loan I paid off my truck, a credit card and a personal loan. That saves me $620 a month. If i give her the money she will..
It sounds like this $17,000 loan is important to you, you reached out to her meaning you couldn't do it on your own, and her risk/involvement was significant enough it was "absolutely necessary" to send her proof of payment. Set aside your anger and how she may respond. Connect with Steve's values. What did you promise her? If this were an acquaintance you met at a grocer who did this for you, what would you give them in return? My values would include fulfilling any promises and, if nothing were promised, offering a thank you gift (<$100). Your values may differ. Do what will make you proud of your actions 5yrs from now.
Originally Posted by Steve_
my gucci purse you promised. She sent me a picture of the purse she had bought, a $3,000 Gucci bag and said she ditched the date because of me and bought a purse instead and now feels like I should owe her. . I certainly dont want to shoot $1500 to someone spoiled woman who believes to be entitled to it
Well, if you promised to pay for half or a full Gucci purse in return for the above or some other task, I would keep my word. If the idea sprung from her head out-of-the-blue, I would not respond. I try to live my life according to my values, not according to how I imagine someone else may feel about it.
Originally Posted by Steve_
but even that she will fire back something like "wow, you liar" or "wow your so sensitive" or "you always get nasty when its not your way" or just something stupid to punish me for standing up for myself, whenever I do i get punished and fold. I wont do that.
You're making more good choices, but your focus is still misplaced on how she may or may not respond.
Originally Posted by Steve_
I would love to buy you that stuff for our anniversary, Its really important to me and I wanted to spoil you, but I cant do that while you are seeing other men, I wont.. but even that she will fire back something like "wow, you liar" or "wow your so sensitive" or "you always get nasty when its not your way" or just something stupid to punish me for standing up for myself,
Agreed, bad idea, and even worse if she responds favorably and you have a good anniversary together--since that pulls you and your kids deeper again into this ridiculously bad situation.
