I will respond later to the questions about how to be with your H and whether or not to say X or Y or care or whatever but... I want to know about YOU.
What are you doing for yourself right now? GAL plans? Self-care? Put all his cr@p to the side for a sec and do something for yourself and tell us about it.
xoxo M
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
Actually, I just spent a bit of time trying to resolve an error on my MacBook. lol Gave up. Try again tomorrow.
So not much for self care at the moment when you posted, but I did meet up today with a friend I haven't seen in about 10 years for lunch (we have interacted on social, but I haven't "physically" seen her in a long time) and I took a nap before the family came over (not done that in a long while). So today was overall a good day for self-care and doing my own thing. I'm trying! Lately my self care has been yoga, walking, reading, baths, time with friends, and cleaning up my home office which was getting super messy. I'm considering taking a front-end development coding course, but not sure I should commit until after I get all the D stuff moving along. I'm in a creative field and do some light coding, but want to be able to do more creative website work than what I am able to do now...plus I think it will make me more marketable on top of the other digital/print creative I do.
I am guessing you are on the west side of the country too, since you replied kind of late for an east coaster?
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
Today I took a long walk and listened to a podcast I heard about via the NYTimes called Alone: A Love Story. It is about a woman who is betrayed by her H and it's her story. I've not finished it yet, and I'm in the part where she has been divorced and has met someone new. Anyway, in the story she speaks of a moment after the BD where she would just drink herself numb. She went to get more liquor and almost ran a car off the road. The older man in the car was yelling and cussing and followed her for a while, very angry. At some point, they had to both stop at a red light and he pulled up beside her, still yelling and screaming. When he looked in her face he could tell she was not well, or okay. He softened immediately and asked if she was okay. She said no. He told her, "lady, whatever you are going through, it will be okay". He promised. He made her say it, and he stayed saying it with her while cars were honking at them to go (when the light turned green). this moment, these words, this caring stranger, allowed her heart to start beating again, and she knew he was right. She would be okay.
The connection and the kindness of strangers. That is what she felt and what I see on this forum, even when we can't see in each others eyes. I've been reading about May, and now I'm reading about your story Sage, and I read Gerda's and Wayfarer's too, and bits and pieces of many others. I'm trying to get to all of them. I am learning so much from your stories, and I am so grateful. I no longer feel alone...the connection of strangers. I'm sorry all of you have had these stories too, but we are all going to be okay. Because we have each other...strangers but connected. And I feel more supported by you all then the people in my life who care about me, because you understand. I feel like you all are looking at me through the window and telling me it's going to be okay. I hope I can do the same for you.
((((Thank you))))
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
I feel like you all are looking at me through the window and telling me it's going to be okay. I hope I can do the same for you.
What a beautiful message. I'm here, listening, and care. Although, I promise not looking through your window--that would be creepy! I was glad you met up with an old friend yesterday. I hope your weekend is full of whatever self-care you need at the moment. A good walk and podcast sounds like a great start! ((Thank you)) to you, too, for the messages and support you've offered me.
