Trying to heal from WW

[Ace_32]

Thanks Steve, i get what you are saying and i definitely dont want to restart the clock and go back to day one again. It has been tough to go this long without talking to her but im sure it will get easier. I wonder how long it will take her to get curious and want to reach out but i guess it doesn't really matter anymore, need to change the way i think about things.

Sandi, i have always kept my hopes up but they are probably at their lowest point the last few weeks. Ive also read statistics about how many couples survive seperations and its not good, even checking the board here its very rare to see a success story. Its all very discouraging, depends on how you look at it though. The 5% or whatever that make it probably didnt think they would either though so you never know if your sitch could be the one where a miracle happens. I also think hope is a good thing, hoping for reconciliation kept me going and as time goes you can start hoping for other good things to happen.

Also agree that the world is changing and people are alot more selfish in general and have unrealistic expectations. Social media also makes people seem happy and like they have amazing lives which makes people start thinking the grass would be greener with someone else. And then the hollywood rom coms etc. as well makes them think that love is supposed to be a certain way and its impossible to live up to those standards. Years is a long time to wait around, thats why i get the advice about GAL and move on. If it happens down the line and we get another chance then great we can see if its something we both want but hanging around waiting and effectively wasting a few years of your life is crazy.

I realise that remorse isnt the only thing but that is the starting point and the bare minimum in my view, also she would need to reach out. I am done telling her that i am still willing to work on this marriage or asking for another chance, she knows that already and doesnt care. I wont initiate R talks again. She went for IC after we tried MC and i honestly dont think it helped her, i think she was very fake in her sessions and the counselor basically just validated her and reinforced her ideas. Think it had alot to do with our split but thats just conjecture in my part. I would definitely have stipulations, not sure what they would be but luckily i have 'years' to figure it out haha.