New Beginnings

[AndrewP]

OLD is regularly described here as "The Land of The Misfit Toys".

Some people think of it as a numbers game - that if you keep trying that you will find the wheat amongst the chaff.

I don't know.

I'm currently a casual observer of the field with an account on POF and Match. I did meet one nice lady who I had actually met IRL briefly previously. Everything moved "very" fast and it didn't work out. I think that many people go on too soon and with the expectation that they'll get connected quickly and move on. A majority of people I see have a marital status of "separated" which certainly can be taken to mean that they don't have their divorce and related baggage sorted out. The lady I mentioned was still financially tied to her husband through their mortgage and actually ended up going back to take care of him when he got sick some time after we'd split.

I'm glad that you were able to get that one first date out of the way and recognize that it's OK to say no and move on.

From what I gather, especially for women, that OLD can be a scary place. The ex-wife of a buddy of mine quickly contracted an STD and was essentially raped on a date. I know that the woman I dated ended up having sex with a guy that she didn't want because he was so aggressive about it. I'm sure that happens the other way around too but the risks I think are higher for women.

Having a "wing-man" available is always a good idea from what I understand. Our own Dawn - who met a keeper on POF - arranged to have a friend of her's "stop by accidentally" on her first date to make sure she was ok and safe.

There are those too - I'm one of them - who believe that meeting people organically is "better" but then again, I'm still disentangling myself from one of those. A person I thought was fun and quirky turned out to be a lazy hoarder with no desire to do anything other than watch TV and spend my money. Even people you may have known for years - like in this case with me - can be completely different in a relationship.

I'm sure it's not all gloom and doom though. Many many people meet someone great through OLD - otherwise those sites wouldn't be in business.

But - as you've already done - the ability to say "next!" is key to navigating.

Keep us up to date.