Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[Elbereth]

I see what you mean SteveLW. You are right that it comes across as a power move aka "controlling" which I am trying to work on.

I am a little confused though, if you have everything documented then you should be able to prove that he took the mutual funds and spent them on himself AFTER saying he wanted a D. Any divorce court worth its salt would rule in your favor if you have that properly documented. And WASs are typically very lazy about D anyway so he probably wouldn't even show up for the court date for that ruling anyway. I am surprised your L thinks this post-nuptial is necessary, but he is the expert so let's go with it.

Not sure, maybe it's differences in my state...but yeah, I do have documentation to show he withdrew the funds and the rest would probably come out in discovery. I'm hoping he will sign but he may not...as he is obviously hiding things...and may think he can get away with more than he will. My L thought it was worth a shot, especially as this was started before the new sitch occurred.

CWarrior, thanks. I think this sitch will change me forever. I've always been a trusting person. Now that my eyes are wide open to how 'fooled' I was, I won't be so trusting in the future. Not saying that there are not people out there that are trustworthy, more like I am struggling with how I can trust my judgement so fully in the future.

I didn't hear from H on Vday, big surprise, but every other day he's pinged me with something at least once. Tomorrow, H and both boys are coming over for dinner to celebrate some birthdays. I plan to try to be light, fun, and engaged, and try not to show how I want to cut his d*ck off. My goal is to keep things civil as I move forward in getting docs and such in place to file the D. Yeah, CWarrior, he has not served me D yet, but I know he had started an online 'quick' process..I saw a printout of some info he entered. So it could come any day.

One day at a time. One day at a time. Just keep moving right?