Thanks, kml! Actually, your post has me thinking--I believe he did check out because he didn't feel loved. He recently said he felt like no one loved him then, not me, not his friends. I can't know of course, but I do think he was depressed. I think he felt horrible, and the only way to escape was to really escape his life as he knew it. Then, in his mind, all his unhappiness was due to my not being able to love him. I blamed myself too at first. Now I am beginning to understand these feelings of unworthiness were probably there in some form all along, and they will continue to be there until he looks inside and begins to really understand where they come from. It does seem that he was trying and is trying to stop his pain (as opposed to examining it, understanding it).
yup. My ExH also. He constantly told me that he didn't feel that I really loved him, and at the same time he would say that he is unworthy of love. I don't even think it was a difference in love languages, it's simply the fact that these people need to figure their sh1t out first. If they don't look within, it's always someone else who's ruining their day.
